Shadows of the Moon and Stars...oh, and ours!

You could say it's the "eclipse energy". 🌘🌑🌒

You could say it's "everything in retrograde".

Some call it "karmic completion".

Others say, "the end is near!" 

Perhaps all or none of these statements above are true, yet the energy is palpable and worthy of pulling me up and out of my sabbatical from the watery realms of self-inquiry; It felt like the right time to share my thoughts on astrological musings, as there is much magic afoot, and shadowy times call for more authentic soul alignment inquiries.

Are you ready to look at how you are playing your part? 

I certainly have been taking a gander at how I've been playing mine.

As I sit here with my laptop open, water at hand, Ludivico in my ears 🎵 and thunder rumbling in the background of the salty, sweaty summer sky....I listen. Deeper than in other moments (admittedly, sometimes the shallow sounds sway my attention, and my listening isn't always attuned to the deep stillness of The Knowing). This is part of the reason why I love astrological events, because it keeps you on your heels when it comes to doing the work and managing your own energy field. It doesn't even matter if you believe in eclipse energy or not, the affects are real, and everyone feels them, or is affected by someone feeling them. And those of us geographically lucky to SEE this Eclipse (which also happens to be the LONGEST of the century, 1 hour and 45 minutes, to be exact) get a very beautiful, often once in a lifetime view of this rare sight. A Total Blood Red Full Moon Aquarian Lunar Eclipse with Sun in Cancer and  will be visible to those in South America, Aisa, Africa and Australia. 🌏 Whew! What a moment to witness.

Where ever you are in the world or not, everything and everyone can feel the eclipse. Planets, people, pets and all! Emotions can feel high. LAY LOW. Seriously! People can act crazy at the grocery store. Traffic can get more intense. You might want to yell! Tension is also high, especially with Mars being in retrograde and that can evoke "all things aggressive/warrior", masculine style energy. So, it may sound simple, but if you want my unsolicited (however, you are reading my blog) advice..I say stay inside or in out in nature. City life might be a bit cray!

Take it easy. Keep your immune system dialed in. HYDRATE! 💦 

Literally, taking care of your body is one of the easiest ways to stay focused on your wellbeing and out of your mind, especially at times like these. Don't watch the newsfeed. Don't feed in to the bullshit click bait youtube headlines for a few days. Just relax. Be outside and get fresh air and let your thoughts have some space to dissipate. We all need a break, let this be it.

The other day was 'Magdalene Fest Day' (A celebration and honoring of Saint Mary Magdalene, Disciple, Co-Minister and Companion to Jesus) and so because I love Mary Magdalene and all She stirs up, I did a 'facebook live' for the occasion. The video is an open discussion involving current perceptions of the "Chistian" and/vs "new age trends" regarding this figure and archetype. It is also a prayer and devotion to Mary Magdalene, and the her beautiful and widely interpreted origin of Her message. In all of it's forms, it is evocative of the feminine voice in it's every facet. 

I bring this up in this Full Blood Moon Total Lunar Eclipse blog piece because I see that the Magdalene Archetype is just one of many that has also fallen over the line from light to shadow. All of this is welcome, the light and shadow; even this line in between. AND, it's important to see when shadow is surfacing, so it can be addressed, felt, integrated and hopefully... be a source of wisdom gained. The "shadow" I see here is 'manipulation'.

I did my best to really find one word to describe it. This eclipse, FOR ME (and all I can speak on is MY OWN experience) is that I am working through a core wound of feeling manipulated (victim) and being the manipulator (oppressor). The shadows found here have played out in many relationships as me feeling "not free", "controlled", "trapped", when in reality I am emotionally manipulating the situation to be co-dependent so I don't actually have to do any work. Then, I blame. It's YOUR fault. Walk away, start again. A very old pattern since childhood.


It has shown up simply in my integrity to MYSELF. And THIS is where integrity and respect really begin. How do we speak to and treat ourselves?

This concept of manipulation and how I related it to myself and Mary Magdalene (how they are connected in my personal mythos), goes like this; There is a collective wound amongst women that is a sexual trauma connected to self worth or lack of it. The church shames sexuality, the New Age has no rules around it at all, both religions are extremes. So, Mary Magdalene has become the bridge between the parts of the church that sexuality "didn't belong in", and the very sex-positive spiritual (priestess/tantra/dakini/sexual healer/womb worker) movement alive in the New Age culture today. There is a LOT of shadow in these realms because they have been hidden and the newer discoveries leave women wanting more empowered goddess archetypes, complete with sexual freedom. It's the best of all the worlds, right? Pleasure rules, right? The lines have become a little blurred. 

Is the wound being covered over with pleasure to avoid pain? Is this core emptiness and total lack of self worth covered over by selfies, likes, instagram followers and the mirror? The natural way for us humans is to gravitate towards what is comfortable and the real WORK, letting go of identity even is social media, is work. I did it. I'm still doing it. It's not pretty, but I am still making parts of it public just so that is evident that sometimes you f*cking fall apart, and it takes a little while to build your life back, but it can all be a really beautiful process. 💎

So, to wrap this up, I am deep in my own shadows and discoveries of these edges, and this process has been BUILDING since the last BIG time North American eclipse last August, just as I was arriving to France (which was my first of 5 stops on a pilgrimage I have been doing that includes Southern France, Glastonbury, Egypt, Jerusalem, Greece). So, this has been a year of thoughts and experiences that I have been distilling around my own spirituality, growth, shadow of feminine and masculine and relationship to mother and father / God and Earth.

My 33rd spiral around the sun has been chock full of growing pains that turned into unforeseen blessings (including moving from ATX to The Most Famous Beach in The World, ending and painfully yet beautifully transforming a five year partnership into a very nourishing friendship, learning that not everyone likes me and I have to be ok with that). 

As I sit here still listening to my favorite composer, watching the clouds outside turn a deeper golden hue, the light lessons and the moon will eventually rise. We are in the portal of transformation for SURE. This summer holds three eclipses alone, yet we are in a much larger cycle. AIM YOUR ARROW at the things that matter absolute MOST to you, and trust that you have had all the practice you need to let go and let the arrow show the way -----> right to the center. 🎯 

I have travelled around the world for almost a decade, and I ended back up just five hours from where I was born (SC), and also from the same state I left from, Florida. This time, I am on the East Coast (I left Sarasota in 2011 in pursuit of Maui...) so at least there is surf this go round, since I live in Daytona. I have totally loved getting on my surfboard practically every day for a month! As I celebrate coming back home to myself and rooting down deep into my very own essence, I am grateful. I have a lot of questions, and so deep down I know, there are many answers waiting to be listened to. The ocean helps with that. She, like Mary Magdalene and Eclipses, deepens my level of listening and attentiveness.

In conclusion, this is why I love these astrological events.... they give us an external reminder to turn the compass inward, finding our center and listening deeply. 


What in you're life is coming around, full circle?

What cycles (big and small) are you completing?

What parts of yourself are you coming home to, that maybe you have forgotten since you were a little girl? For example, when I was just four years old, I KNEW I was a mermaid. Finally, at 33, after a month on my four year old self is straight up like "I told you so."