And it feels SO good! Dang. Me and my babe, Kellen, we were apart for two whole months and celibate with each other for four months (for plant study purposes) up until Thursday April 22. It’s about two weeks later and we’ve emerged from a beautiful cocoon of reconnection, rekindling, and reality bending love making. Wow.
This blog is an experiment for me, as I have never publicly written about my sex life for an audience as ‘intimate’ as Facebook. TodayI am breaking through a major barrier in my writing. I am going to do my best to describe with a certain balance of details and appropriateness....my orgasm.
I know that my mom and dad could read this, so it’s a good thing they know me really well and we have a transparent relationship. We’ve had ‘the talk’. They know I am making big girl decisions safely and using my ‘head and heart’, and they love Kellen :) I am not ashamed if my family reads this blog. This statement. This authentic and vulnerable expression of my words and deepest truths. My orgasm was a communion with God. It’s something to sing about!
I promise I’ll get to the actual orgasm in the next few paragraphs. What would an orgasm blog be without a little foreplay, anyway? ;) It would be short and sweet and to the point, but this orgasm, and this blog, were a spiraling vortex with infinite directions and inexplicably beautiful scenery along the way. My orgasm was an adventure, and this blog is my way of picking up the cookie crumbs to find my way back a life I knew before this orgasm. But the cookie crumbs aren’t there. There is no ‘way back’. It was a portal....a way in. Here I live, at this new level. In this new and higher dimension of love, not wanting to find my way back, happy for the fire at the belly of the stove and all of the passion and purpose brewing away.
I do not feel like a lost child. I feel like a found woman. Many of my sister-friends around me are pregnant and having babies. It is so beautiful to watch and witness. Swollen bellies and glowing faces, loving partners and parties with tiny little things. My thirty year old body is like ‘yes! Babies!’ and then my nomadic heart says ‘yes! but later!’ and then my career oriented and adventurous mind says ‘condoms! more condoms!’ Truly, being a ‘woman’ in her power in this moment for me looks like so many beautiful choices! I am happy to have made the choice to write these words for you, as I am preparing the way for something explosive....something that has the power to make babies, but can be used also to create in any realm. The All Powerful and Magical Orgasm!
It takes a lot of dedication to commit your orgasm to a higher cause. If you don’t ‘state’ the cause, it’s all good because obviously the underlying force behind most orgasm is love. There are many different levels of love when it comes to orgasm. It may be for the love of the actual orgasm itself, and not even for the person helping facilitate the orgasm. But for me, I have found that the most powerful, gushing, full body, rolling, long lasting, take your breath away and forget your name for a moment orgasms....comes from being in the presence of love fully with the human you are making love with.
That’s right. Fully present in Love for a mind-bending, reality expanding, better than any drug life changing orgasmic bliss. FULLY present. Not thinking about someone else, or the clothes in the dryer, or what’s for dinner, how the kids are getting home, what he said to you last week, the weird thing your boss does with his lip, the tv shows you need to catch up on or even the way your body looks......all of these thoughts will put the orgasms in the ‘short and unfulfilling’ category. I found I had orgasms like this with men that I didn’t have any emotional connection with at all in my late teens and early twenties. It wasn’t until a few years and potent realizations around monogamous sexual cultivation with one beautiful human that I realized the depth and profundity potentially present with every opportunity to have an orgasmic, ecstatic union.
Alright, long awaited and ready to be revealed....just one more detail.
My orgasm asks that you please respect it. If you want to talk about it, or the place where it originates (ah-hem) then please do so with respectful words and thoughts. My orgasm has her own rights, and she tends to be less shy when she feels trusting, safe and open. She wants to fully show up for you! So....Without further ado....
Simultaneously, we climaxed and crescendoed on the same note, during the same symphony, sung by the purest of angels, in the lush gardens of Eden, at a moment in time where every single thing in the world was beautiful, everything electric in my body was sparked and my heart felt like it was a liquid lava field seeping into the cracks of the earth, filling me up completely, merging with him completely, feeling the essence of God completely.....boom. Pure awareness. Ecstatic bliss. Oneness.
Our bodies intertwined, pulsating in unison, reaching the climactic experience at the same time, in the same breath! Time stood still. I have no idea how long the actual ‘orgasm’ lasted, but riding the wave before and cresting to shore after seemed like an entire lifetime. I so love Kellen. His touch feels like home.
After four months of being celibate due to our extensive plant studies in the Amazon earlier this year, we are finally reunited...with no restrictions on carnal fun ;) Our days have been a haze of delicious reunion here on the luscious island of Mama Maui.
I feel so trusting in the love that is flowing through me. I’ve been happily writing, and lots of creative yum came through in writing workshops we are co-teaching at upcoming festivals like Bhakti Fest and Celebrate Life Tantra Festival. Kellen and I will teaching couples breath work, serving cacao and tea and enjoying ourselves this summer and upcoming seasons. We are joyful and relaxed in the frequency of reunion.
May you be blessed with compatibility in your relationships and connections. My best friend has just had a baby! I venture into another world now...being a Godmother! I have the honor of helping my friend introduce her first child into this realm! It’s very exciting. Lots of good vibes here in Maui and I’m feeling so much gratitude for my Ohana here on this island. It is magical the way we are all so supported. Aloha Nui Loa!