Anchoring Essence

It's August 2018. 🎬 The stage is set.

Even if you don't believe in "astrology", all of the stuff that is happening in the world right now links up with the cycles and spheres in the heavens, weather is was predicted too, forecasted too, or not. Regardless, things are shifting...on every level. Personally, politically, earth wise, and beyond. In the Celtic calendar today is Lammas, the halfway point between Summer Solstice and Fall Equinox, and represents the first fruits of the season, an early harvest. What are you reaping? What aspects of your soul are rising up to be seen? Amongst the noise and all of this upheaval, can you still feel your essence? That simple, quiet, calm space inside....

Deeper still....all the way to the bottom, where the anchor holds the ship; keeping it safe and sound on a stormy sea.  

Volcanos are erupting, fires are burning, floods are filling streets and chaos is obvious in the newsfeed and the timelines. Are you scrolling and trolling? Or are you using your energy to prepare for what's ahead? We are in a powerful time. A potent portal. There is work to be done, and the time is now. We might not "feel" ready, but we are. Everything has led to this very moment. Breathe into it. Allow it to be whatever it is. Amongst the swirling winds of rapid change, find the still point. This is where our true essence lies.

I have had someone very close to me telling me that they see my life as "a performance", like I am putting on a show. Everyone else in my life always tell me how authentic I am and gives me a lot of praise for how to I choose to live my live. Of course, there is a part of me that wants to shy away from the person that tells me "I see through you, and you're full of shit". However, I will not. I respect this person for their dedication to doing the uncomfortable deeper work and also for their ability to be alone and in practice, meditation and in a steady, grounded flow. I have been taking a magnifying glass to myself over the last year and it has been extremely difficult but thrice rewarding. As I examine each layer I make a choice to learn from it and let it go, or to resist and hold on to it. The thing is, we shed our layers in cycles and phases just like a snake sheds its skin. When we allow this shedding to be natural, and we leave the dead skin, or bits of identity behind, we come into contact with our true self, our ESSENCE.

Let's look at the meaning of the word:

Essence

noun

  1. the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, that determines its character.

    synonyms:quintessence, soul, spirit, nature; core, heart, crux, nucleus, substance; 

    principle, fundamental quality, sum and substance, warp and woof, reality, actuality; 

    • PHILOSOPHY

      a property or group of properties of something without which it would not exist or be what it is.

    • an extract or concentrate obtained from a particular plant or other matter and used for flavoring or scent.

      synonyms: extract, concentrate, distillate, elixir, decoction, juice, tincture; scent, perfume, oil 

This person who challenges me by saying "No, I can only see a dead or dying layer, not the real you", helps me to look closer and closer until I am on the other side of the peeled off portion...and can be more attuned to my essence. SOUL ESSENCE. As we get close enough to touch, smell, taste and caress this exquisite essence all our own, we begin to anchor it more solidly into our way of BEING; into even our mundane reality. This is very important for several reasons.

1.) YOUR ESSENCE IS ETERNAL. Our human minds have a dopamine response reward system built in for survival purposes; ie; eating and sex feels so good (dopamine release) because our bodies need those things to survive and ensure the survival of the species. So, being in touch with the part ourselves that is beyond biology helps us to navigate these strong biological pulls towards external needs and cravings. When we have felt our essence and understand that we are not actually just our bodies, we become more in tune with what our incredible vessels really need to operate optimally, instead of being swayed by the surface level cravings and short term desires. Essence is eternal, and when we can actually feel that, we have less need to fill the emptiness with things that don't serve us.

2.) YOUR ESSENCE IS GOD. You are not God, but God/The All/Great Spirit/The Maker/Infinite Mind/Source/WHATEVERYOUWANNACALLIT does exist within you, and within everything else. This is your essence. That fractal of infinite divinity that is your soul. You are essentially consciousness, and this cannot be created nor destroyed, and it can also create and destroy. This is the essence of your soul, this spark of The Creator. 

3.) YOUR ESSENCE IS NON DUAL. Think of it this way; essence is beyond body, gender, skin, soul, role, trauma, story, time. It is beyond good or evil. It is pure primal essence. For example, the ocean. If the ocean takes the life of a surfer, does that make the ocean bad? No, it is just the raw power of nature. Sometimes unfortunate things occur, or really amazing and wonderful things occur, and those occurrences pass. "This, too, shall pass". But our essence, it does not pass. It remains. It changes form, even when the body and the experiences and identities we formed through it are gone. It is whatever came into the egg and sperm to give it life and make it "viable". It is the spark of life. ALL life. Not just your life, but all life. Your essence is connected to the essence of all things.

At this time in personal and transpersonal development, we must find ways and resource ourselves to TAP INTO and OPERATE from this essence, this deeper knowing. When planets are flying off in retrograde from every direction, combined with political insanity from all the angles, mixed in with a plethora of natural disasters, climate change, heated social climate conversations and your own personal petty dramas...things can elevate quickly. This is why it is important to ANCHOR INTO YOUR OWN ESSENCE.

Here are some ways I stay calm in the chaos, doing my best to connect with essence over drama:

1. Breathe. I am doing it anyway, so I might as well concentrate on it, especially when my mind starts thinking it's a monkey (swinging from limb to limb and making too much noise!)

2. Dance/Move/Hoop/Surf/Asana. I love getting into my body. It drops me into a "flow state" that leaves me feeling clear headed, free from thought. Hours pass and I will not even notice because I am so immersed in the endorphins in my body and the natural high I feel afterwards. I always feel more focused and energized on the days I make this priority, which is almost always every day. 

3. Meditate. Here is the thing. I have a really hard time meditating. Even devoted Buddhists will tell you that sometimes they feel like they even dislike meditating and it feels like the HARDEST thing. Right now I am a five minute meditator. I will meditate here and there for five minutes, or sometimes even just one or two minutes at a time. I don't like to fail when I know I can set myself up for success, so I know it's useless for me to try to meditate for a half hour at this time in my life. I am working my way there, but right now, I meditate when I think about it and let it be a part of my daily flow, instead of making it  "this thing that I HAVE TO DO or else I'm not doing enough spiritual work". I am working really diligently at being "natural" and not be forceful. It seems like an oxymoron to "make myself meditate", so I am starting small and feeling like that is an improvement from not at all. When I allow myself these spontaneous meditations, I am able to drop into a very still state and even just a few minutes feels like a washing clean of my mind and field, opening the way to connecting with ESSENCE that is the true me, which in all honesty, I have only glimpsed.

4. Observing Shadow As Equal to Light. This one is really interesting and dicey. Our essence is beyond "shadow" and "light", but by observing and acknowledging BOTH we become much closer to our essence. Our shadow points us towards our essence, and so does our light, but they are NOT the essence itself. When we can allow the light to illuminate the essence, that is a gift, and when we can allow the shadow to let us sense and feel our essence even in the darkness, it is truly is a blessing. 

Ok friends! I feel like this is a never ending retrograde eclipse summer and I just want to say keep diving deep and doing the work! You are so beautiful in all of the infinite facets of the ESSENCE of your BEING! <3

#ANCHORLOVE

 Essence of Love by SoolArts @ deviantarts.com&nbsp;

Essence of Love by SoolArts @ deviantarts.com 

Shadows of the Moon and Stars...oh, and ours!

You could say it's the "eclipse energy". 🌘🌑🌒

You could say it's "everything in retrograde".

Some call it "karmic completion".

Others say, "the end is near!" 

Perhaps all or none of these statements above are true, yet the energy is palpable and worthy of pulling me up and out of my sabbatical from the watery realms of self-inquiry; It felt like the right time to share my thoughts on astrological musings, as there is much magic afoot, and shadowy times call for more authentic soul alignment inquiries.

Are you ready to look at how you are playing your part? 

I certainly have been taking a gander at how I've been playing mine.

As I sit here with my laptop open, water at hand, Ludivico in my ears 🎵 and thunder rumbling in the background of the salty, sweaty summer sky....I listen. Deeper than in other moments (admittedly, sometimes the shallow sounds sway my attention, and my listening isn't always attuned to the deep stillness of The Knowing). This is part of the reason why I love astrological events, because it keeps you on your heels when it comes to doing the work and managing your own energy field. It doesn't even matter if you believe in eclipse energy or not, the affects are real, and everyone feels them, or is affected by someone feeling them. And those of us geographically lucky to SEE this Eclipse (which also happens to be the LONGEST of the century, 1 hour and 45 minutes, to be exact) get a very beautiful, often once in a lifetime view of this rare sight. A Total Blood Red Full Moon Aquarian Lunar Eclipse with Sun in Cancer and  will be visible to those in South America, Aisa, Africa and Australia. 🌏 Whew! What a moment to witness.

Where ever you are in the world or not, everything and everyone can feel the eclipse. Planets, people, pets and all! Emotions can feel high. LAY LOW. Seriously! People can act crazy at the grocery store. Traffic can get more intense. You might want to yell! Tension is also high, especially with Mars being in retrograde and that can evoke "all things aggressive/warrior", masculine style energy. So, it may sound simple, but if you want my unsolicited (however, you are reading my blog) advice..I say stay inside or in out in nature. City life might be a bit cray!

Take it easy. Keep your immune system dialed in. HYDRATE! 💦 

Literally, taking care of your body is one of the easiest ways to stay focused on your wellbeing and out of your mind, especially at times like these. Don't watch the newsfeed. Don't feed in to the bullshit click bait youtube headlines for a few days. Just relax. Be outside and get fresh air and let your thoughts have some space to dissipate. We all need a break, let this be it.

The other day was 'Magdalene Fest Day' (A celebration and honoring of Saint Mary Magdalene, Disciple, Co-Minister and Companion to Jesus) and so because I love Mary Magdalene and all She stirs up, I did a 'facebook live' for the occasion. The video is an open discussion involving current perceptions of the "Chistian" and/vs "new age trends" regarding this figure and archetype. It is also a prayer and devotion to Mary Magdalene, and the her beautiful and widely interpreted origin of Her message. In all of it's forms, it is evocative of the feminine voice in it's every facet. 

I bring this up in this Full Blood Moon Total Lunar Eclipse blog piece because I see that the Magdalene Archetype is just one of many that has also fallen over the line from light to shadow. All of this is welcome, the light and shadow; even this line in between. AND, it's important to see when shadow is surfacing, so it can be addressed, felt, integrated and hopefully... be a source of wisdom gained. The "shadow" I see here is 'manipulation'.

I did my best to really find one word to describe it. This eclipse, FOR ME (and all I can speak on is MY OWN experience) is that I am working through a core wound of feeling manipulated (victim) and being the manipulator (oppressor). The shadows found here have played out in many relationships as me feeling "not free", "controlled", "trapped", when in reality I am emotionally manipulating the situation to be co-dependent so I don't actually have to do any work. Then, I blame. It's YOUR fault. Walk away, start again. A very old pattern since childhood.

OVER IT. 

It has shown up simply in my integrity to MYSELF. And THIS is where integrity and respect really begin. How do we speak to and treat ourselves?

This concept of manipulation and how I related it to myself and Mary Magdalene (how they are connected in my personal mythos), goes like this; There is a collective wound amongst women that is a sexual trauma connected to self worth or lack of it. The church shames sexuality, the New Age has no rules around it at all, both religions are extremes. So, Mary Magdalene has become the bridge between the parts of the church that sexuality "didn't belong in", and the very sex-positive spiritual (priestess/tantra/dakini/sexual healer/womb worker) movement alive in the New Age culture today. There is a LOT of shadow in these realms because they have been hidden and the newer discoveries leave women wanting more empowered goddess archetypes, complete with sexual freedom. It's the best of all the worlds, right? Pleasure rules, right? The lines have become a little blurred. 

Is the wound being covered over with pleasure to avoid pain? Is this core emptiness and total lack of self worth covered over by selfies, likes, instagram followers and the mirror? The natural way for us humans is to gravitate towards what is comfortable and the real WORK, letting go of identity even is social media, is work. I did it. I'm still doing it. It's not pretty, but I am still making parts of it public just so that is evident that sometimes you f*cking fall apart, and it takes a little while to build your life back, but it can all be a really beautiful process. 💎

So, to wrap this up, I am deep in my own shadows and discoveries of these edges, and this process has been BUILDING since the last BIG time North American eclipse last August, just as I was arriving to France (which was my first of 5 stops on a pilgrimage I have been doing that includes Southern France, Glastonbury, Egypt, Jerusalem, Greece). So, this has been a year of thoughts and experiences that I have been distilling around my own spirituality, growth, shadow of feminine and masculine and relationship to mother and father / God and Earth.

My 33rd spiral around the sun has been chock full of growing pains that turned into unforeseen blessings (including moving from ATX to The Most Famous Beach in The World, ending and painfully yet beautifully transforming a five year partnership into a very nourishing friendship, learning that not everyone likes me and I have to be ok with that). 

As I sit here still listening to my favorite composer, watching the clouds outside turn a deeper golden hue, the light lessons and the moon will eventually rise. We are in the portal of transformation for SURE. This summer holds three eclipses alone, yet we are in a much larger cycle. AIM YOUR ARROW at the things that matter absolute MOST to you, and trust that you have had all the practice you need to let go and let the arrow show the way -----> right to the center. 🎯 

I have travelled around the world for almost a decade, and I ended back up just five hours from where I was born (SC), and also from the same state I left from, Florida. This time, I am on the East Coast (I left Sarasota in 2011 in pursuit of Maui...) so at least there is surf this go round, since I live in Daytona. I have totally loved getting on my surfboard practically every day for a month! As I celebrate coming back home to myself and rooting down deep into my very own essence, I am grateful. I have a lot of questions, and so deep down I know, there are many answers waiting to be listened to. The ocean helps with that. She, like Mary Magdalene and Eclipses, deepens my level of listening and attentiveness.

In conclusion, this is why I love these astrological events.... they give us an external reminder to turn the compass inward, finding our center and listening deeply. 

~*FULL BLOOD MOON TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE JOURNALING PROMPTS*~

What in you're life is coming around, full circle?

What cycles (big and small) are you completing?

What parts of yourself are you coming home to, that maybe you have forgotten since you were a little girl? For example, when I was just four years old, I KNEW I was a mermaid. Finally, at 33, after a month on my surfboard...my four year old self is straight up like "I told you so."  

mermaideclipse.jpg

Waves, Water and Wisdom

I have been surfing everyday for almost a month. 

I have learned a LOT. I have actually caught some decent waves and already felt the high of gliding across the water and feeling what it feels like to fly. It's beautiful. Like a fish. I'm hooked. (No pun intended).

When you think of surfing you think of seeing super hotties like Kelly Slater gliding through a perfectly barreled wave tube, looking sleek and graceful, calm and strong. Now that I am surfing, I see the massive amount of dedication it takes to reach that point. There is so much involved. Checking the surf. Going to the best wave break. Carrying surd board through sand and to water. PADDLING OUT. Oh my God. THIS is where you separate those who want to catch waves and those who don't care anymore because they don't want to develop the stamina it takes to paddle through white water waves crashing and tossing and turning you all around like your in a washing machine. Paddling out takes strength and courage. You just gotta fucking do it, the rewards are beautiful.

In this month that I have been learning how to surf, I have been humbled in many ways and equally benefitted. My body, hair, skin, muscle tone, weight, confidence and sense of wellness has all increased dramatically. My soul loves the salt, sun and sand. The ocean is my new teacher.

This summer, while I get tossed around by waves and learn how to engage my core, many planets are in retrograde and we are also having three eclipses, two solar, one lunar. A very close friend of mine (you can read his work here) told me to "lay low and watch the show". Boy, was he right. I have been watching a few of these documentaries on Netflix about all of the different cult gurus that have been outed. Wild Wild Country is a very powerful one on the exposing of Osho and then Holy Hell is about the Buddhafeilds cult in LA/Ausin/Hawaii. I saw that David Wilcock (a major whistleblower in the disclosure movement) has resigned from Gaia TV and made it clear he won't be a part of whatever they are up too. I am seeing teachers who even I studied with publicly being taken down (beware the "womb" gurus most of all)...

This is just the beginning. I read an article just today about a head figure in the Buddhist community going down for sexual assault, and I am seeing it in many of the circles I held close at different point along my path. So, I am using this time by myself to develop my DISCERNMENT so that I don't step into the webs of false teachers anymore. That is why I have given up all human "teachers" and let the Ocean be my teacher for today. She is gentle, yet fierce. 

I love the way she molds me.

I have been laying low and will continue to through out this slow summer where everything feels hot and like it might retrograde if you look at it the wrong way. I hope you will follow my lead and take some space from the screen, from social media, and get out of the air conditioning and face the elements this season. Jump in fresh or salt water. Find a river or a spring. Be with the sun when it's rising and setting. Breathe in the thick, summer air and let it fill you up completely. 

To every wave you catch, and to knowing which ones to let go....

Shellie Marie xo

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