✨Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned in 2018...✨

Ha! I almost said it with a straight face, too.

Nah, it is actually true though. This has been the most alchemizing year of my existence. Lifetimes and eons and a long and arduous heroins journey of a unshakable soul of soft steel has led me to this point on the space time continuum where I could make the most and make use of all of these lessons: enter the linear Gregorian calandar year of 2018.

So, here we go…..

Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned in 2018


Knowledge + Wisdom + Compassion +
Unconditional SELF Love
= True Power 


(and it might not look like what you asked for, but trust me, it IS the answer to your conscious and unconscious prayers/words/thoughts)


Make Light of shitty situations. 💩 ESPECIALLY the stinkiest of them. If you don't crack a few jokes and remember to play as much as you strive to embark on the super sacred reverent spiritual journeys or your 40+ hour work week, then you will shrivel and die. No joke there. When baby Jesus got older he reminded the hyperbrainy and judge-y adults of the only way to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and that was to be like a child. Nourish your inner child with a lot of love and some shadow work too, but remember that your inner kid needs to play, let loose, and let all of that cerebral noise GO. Respect to all the adult children out there who can balance this seriousness with the play each and every day! 

I know, it's not nearly as fun to read as the first one but guess what? Fun is just a distraction if you are overly focused on it and laugh every time you are actually pissed as a fire ant whose hill just got stomped on. But you have to feel it sooner or later and the later it gets the more intense it will feel when it INEVITABLY boils up and over the surface layers, it gets UG-LAY! 🐲 Let me tell you from the very personal experience of letting my pent up verbal venom spew all over my closest peeps... IT AIN'T PRETTY. All of your glamorized priestess presence or good church going wifey image is out the f*ucking window once you let the SHE BEAST loose on the ones you love. It might not look like anger or sadness, it might look like "netflix and chill' for the 6th month straight plus 15 extra pounds from healthy vegan junk food. Don't let that sh*t sneak up on you. Be proactive. Just feel the feels already, ok? I've got your back if you need a guide.

Lesson #3. CREATE OR DIE.

Sometimes you choose to create, and sometimes you choose to die (consciously or subconsciously, your pick!) I almost didn't write this email. I wanted to send you stuff a long time ago but I didn't. I didn't do anything. I did surf a lot and jot down a few lines in my journal here and there but I didn't create anything for a few months. I barely wrote or danced outside of the bare minimum, like teaching class and making sporadic posts to pretend I was fine. I wanted to sing and write songs but I just laid around and sobbed about my victim story instead to those who would listen for the 46TH THOUSANTH* time. If that* is even a word. I quite creating, which is fine, but I died.
If you want to die a painful ego death, just stop making your art.  Sometimes you have to pause your creations because ego death is eminent and breathing down your neck and you just. have. to. LET. GO.
Letting go of even your most precious creations; like long-term relationships or your old ways of being.

Not easy either way really. Creating can be hard and so can death. So, CHOOSE which one you're up to and then choose how you want to go through the portal. ⭕️ It's 5am for me over here and you know what? This is what my creation after a loooooooong slumber looks like. Use that nasty crap that happened to create fertile compost and rich healthy soil to plant your seeds and water your dreams for 2019  🔆

Lesson #4. Not everyone will meet you on the 'other side'.
Sad, but true. As you become an alchemist and allow the changes to occur, letting those Phoenix tears turn lead into gold, haters gonna hate. You might be the hater and you might the one playing games. You might also be a highly cultivated individual who didn't screw around and actually did her homework and now you graduated and some of your homies got held back or switched schools.

You follow?

It might come as a shock or surprise to see who ends up able to relate to you after your deep transitions and who just can't even pick up the phone to respond to your texts, calls or Marco Polos. My biggest take away from finding myself with less friends but MUCH tighter and forged-in-fire relationships is THIS: Don't take it personally. You do you. Let them do them. Make room for those who are truly worth your time. Set boundaries and dissolve ties with those who dim or diminish you light or can't honor your full spectrum radiance!

Lesson #5.

Damn. I about lost my shit, ya'll, I ain't gonna lie. I fell out of practice for a while and succumbed to the darkness. It was dank down there, but I had to go, I guess. In that process, I realized I am not very good with structured linear practices for two hours at a time (leading to lots of self judgement/loat ing); but I AM able and willing to do lots of little practices in consecutive and/or non-linear order; which adds up to be practices throughout the day and helps me out A LOT. I was so out of practice with my 'spiritual cultivation'. I thought I could 'set it and forget it', like it was a f*cking autoresponder or something.
Just because I practiced Qi Gong for 5 years, or became a breath work facilitator, or have taught hoop dance for a decade or been to every sacred site ever plus drinking a thousand ounces of ayahausca I was enlightened right?... give me a break, Becky.

But, like, aren't I "spiritual" enough? 
Bitch, please. 


It's constant PARTICIPATION.

It's never ending INTEGRATION.

These are the basics of ceremony and ceremony is life.
The salt baths you took last week and the transformational festival you went to on 12.21.12 are not going to get through this one babe.
Gotta keep the blade sharp or it fails to cut when it's needed to get you nice slice of vegan gluten free raw nut patê pie! 🍰 Now, get back to work! ⚔️


I thought I understood this. On some levels I did but….. not really until very recently. People I loved started setting pretty big boundaries with me and I found myself pushing others I loved far, far away. Something felt off. I began to see the patterns peeking out from behind the curtain. Old ways of relating that I THOUGHT WERE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES turned out to be riddle and crumbling with resentment, anger. feelings of betrayal and a total lack of SELF trust and trust in My Creator. Ah, trust. Trust. TRUST!
Trust is knowing you can say NO and still be supported. It’s saying NO and still feeling loved, even if/especially when you are spending time in solitude. It’s saying NO to over-commitments. NO to frivilous expending of energy. The NO must come from the same inspired self loving awareness that full blown YES’ come from. YES can be a boundary, too! YES to my joy, and no you can’t steal it. YES to my light, it’s my job to reveal it. YES to my creative schedules. YES to my workouts. YES to my writing time. YES YES YES is also a way of keeping boundaries and TRUSTING yourself to feel the subtle nuances in your body; for me it’s my GUT and my EMOTIONAL STATE. If you would like more guidance on how to use your divine Human Design to understand your personal strategy so you can better LISTEN to your inner intelligence, email me here to set up a chat.

The key is to EMBODY the trust within yourself and your Maker to know when you need space and how to take it without pitching a huge tantrum toddler fit. Oh, don't worry if you're not there yet. I am 34 and just starting to really get the picture. (Thank God! or wait, Trust God!) 


Yes, my child. You heard it right. It ain’t out there. Not in a boyfriend or girlfriend or threesome. Not in the sweet potato fries or second helping of vegan mac and cheese. It’s not hiding under some #laptoplife swipe file or ‘femmeprenuerial’ up-level. It’s not even in the Bible. Jesus is in the Bible, and he said it himself it wasn’t in the scriptures, they only point to the truth. YOU are the truth. Yeshua said the kingdom of heaven is within, and that it could be accessed by being like a little child, filled with wonder and love.

Let that really sink it.

You’re little inner tiny one has the key to your crown-wearing-royal-heavenly self. You must take her hand and walk with her deep into the corridors of your being-ness. Guide her gently though the scary parts and stand up for her fiercely, sword in hand, when the vipers come. Speak truth to her, not lies and old patterns. Let her guide the way, curious as to what is around every corner, like a kitten exploring each nook and cranny of Her Holy Kingdom. Don’t shame her for exploring those sexual parts or let her down when she really needs you to show up on time to her recital. It’s really important you nourish this little one inside because across the expanse of non dual space and time, She Is You Then and She Is You Now, and she is not concerned with the ‘who, why or how’. Times may get dark for you and your self, but collect that well of trust you have cultivated, as you take Yeshua’s hand again and again, and walk boldly within yourself to claim your own crown. Not a crown of thorns this time but of mugwort and yarrow so you can be a good ancestor for those of tomorrow. Quit checking your phone for texts or red bubbles. It will only add to your troubles. It’s all deep inside. You’ve known it from before. Heaven is within, and there is no locked door.

The secret is in NOT wanting more or being more able, but being complete with what’s on the table. You’ve got what you’ve got and those are your spiritual gifts. Sometimes Heaven is hell, and other times Heaven is bliss. Heaven can burn just like hell’s fire if you think it’s all lotus petals and ignore the mire. These straights are dire, but it’s still time to shine. So grab your Burger King crown if that’s all you can find. I didn’t think this would end up a rhyme but my creative word flow feels simply divine. Why change it? Just rearrange it and see what you find, perhaps a Grand Trine. Putting the pieces together in new ways is sublime. There are 88 keys on piano you know, and not every song plays the same notes. We are the octaves and the syllables, the music and the words. The pro-nouns and the objects, the synonyms and verbs. The tables have turned, like an old vintage vinyl. Love Will Conquer All, says the prophet Richie of Lionel.

I hope my distilled experience of 2018 can help propel you forward in a good way and with a good heart into the Lighter half of this year in the Northern Hemisphere, and the darker half if you’re down south. I like to run my mouth and can type a ton of words a minute and have a thing for writing so here is my GIFT to YOU! It was actually a gift given to ME that I am now more compelled than ever to share with all of you and to the billions of others inhabiting this Earth Temple. We gotta get ourselves and then each other in check. Tick the boxes and mark my words: WE NEED YOU NOW. ⚓️

So, make your own list of what you learned; what’s coming with and what’s going out with the garbage. These reflections are key, and will help you turn a new page with more ease and grace than you might imagine.

From my warm heart to yours on this chilly Florida morning,

✨Shellie Marie White Light✨


✨The Return of The Light✨

Solstice Reflections ✨🌔🌕🌖✨

Let's face some facts. As we approach Christmas, if you believe in the virgin birth (which is not the same or even mentioned in all four gospels) then around this time Mary was in deep contractions, like about to push out a baby human type of thing. 👶🏾 Let's just look past the little kids dressed as angels singing First Noel huddled around a plastic baby with staffs and poetic goddess metaphors here, just for a moment. This was before all the schopol functions and 25 day countdown, even before rosaries and all Holy Mother Vibes of the New Age. Mary wasn't even a 'mother' quite yet, she was ripe for certain, yet still in between. Just a kid, having a freaking BABY! From child to Divine Mother in one fell swoop, angels included. Ain't she lucky? Not really, if you know how the story fully plays out. Reverent and Holy, yes of course, but dude, that's a really intense process, and also super graceful at once, that birthing of The Messiah business.

Let's give this chick some credit! 👏🏽👊🏾🤱🏾

🗣 Do you want to know the REAL story of Jesus' birth? The REALLY REAL? Well, when you strip away the spirituality of it all which hadn't even happened yet, HOMEGIRL GAVE BIRTH AT 14 IN A HAY PILE BESIDE SOME STINKY DONKEYS. She was probably really loud about it and I'm betting money you could hear her over those sweet seraphim angels singing their super epic birth song to the baby Jesus, who I'm sure came out crying just like the rest of us all pink and bloody with that weird white afterbirth stuff all over his body, all wrinkled and shaking. Ok ok, maybe he was one of those magical babies born in the sac, still all cocooned in his Holy Water fresh from the womb. It wouldn't surprise me. He was human, but also Divine, after all. That's the whole point of all this. HUMAN AND DIVINE. Let's not over glamorize this, people! Just like the rest of us, She wailed and He cried and Angels sang and it was still just a humaning BIRTHing. SHE BIRTHED THE SUN. 👑🌞✨ Normal but highly favored Mary became Holy Mother God was born as a human. It's an age old story. Maybe you thought it was the other way around? That you were here to figure out how to be divine, but Yeshua's birth shows us clear as the full moon that we are born to be our best at being HUMAN, and that IS divine. 👂 Do you hear what I hear? Let those who have ears to hear, LISTEN.


Since the beginning of time humans have always known the Sun, for without it we would not have this life, and always known Him, for Christ is timeless. Just as the tiny little house lights twinkle this time at Christmas, there will always be a light in the night, The Holy Star that Wise Men still seek and the Soul Still Holds as Solstice rises and falls and we finally drop our separate walls.

Back to the basics...🌹 Birth is nasty and they make it look all nice in the nativity scenes with everyones robes all clean, but in reality that process (as amazing as it is because it's human life) is still and always was totally ew. Blood and 💩 and heck, she might have even puked. He was 'the star' of the show 2000 years later (well, second to consumerism, and third if you count The Beatles) but really Mary is the full on SHERO here for birthing total Messiah vibes so we could have tickle me elmo in the early 90's. It's all connected, right? Or did we miss the point at the center somewhere and get turned around only to end up at your local shopping center.....

Aaaaanywho, I digress but not really, because 2018 was a rough year and we really ought to reflect on the nuggets of knowledge, crap and gold that we can extract from that swirling whirling sideswipe of a year. "Hot damn", as we'd say in The South. Bless your hearts, quite literally, because things got real and now it's almost over but according to OTHER calendars 🥳 this year really just began! And it will begin again, and again, and again, depending on where you are and from what perspective you see it. 🎋

🧠 Think of it this way, if you are on the Northern Hemisphere 🌎 then you are about to celebrate the WINTER solstice and it might be cold where you are, even snowing. Now, just because you're experiencing snow and a very real sensation that it is actually freezing because you see frozen water everywhere, doesn't mean that it isn't summer and 100 degrees somewhere else; ie. Australia. It's feckin' hot down there right now, mate. Got the air con on in the yank tank and Santa's in his bloody board shorts while yer rockin' the triple layers. You feel me? The South sees it from a different direction and angle then the North. The West sees opposite from the East. Each direction is a way to devotion and reverence, no matter which way you see it, all directions lead to CENTER. All paths, all directions, eventually, lead hOme. 👠⭕️❓

🌟 So Mary birthed God (um, no big deal...). Fast forward two millennia now we all shop and gather and eat and sing and decorate and pray and buy more stuff than even God knows what to do with... and then throw away the packages and pollute the oceans. WWJD? *For serious tho*. What would baby Jesus say? Or the Sun God Ra? What would your Mother (Earth) say? However you want to see it and which timeline you want to vibe with, we have some work to do and a major responsibility to uphold. Do you think the ancient ones who these stories are about would see us today and be proud? I want to say YES to that, but with the way things have been showing up on the news I cannot say that our ancestors, Jesus Joseph Mary and all the whales included, would speak highly of our collective character as humans being... 🐋...as we are being out of harmony in very small and very large ways. I trust we can heal for the next in line....

I am reading and healing through the work of a wonderful woman of color. *Speaking of WoC, I guarantee Mary was brown, too, just for the "Caucasian Christmas" record, and this the white-washed blond haired Jesus imagery is just outdated and straight up FALSE. You think anyone born in the middle east, especially back then, was fair skinned? Doubtful and a colonizing control method, if you ask me and others who see things from a different lens*. This woman I am talking about, her name is #LalyaSaad. It is because of her hard work and inspiration I was even able to write that statement emphasized in asterisks* up there. She speaks on "being a good ancestor", and has encouraged me as a white woman to do my research on how my own heritage and HERstory have been stolen and erased, so I can be of some help to others who were enslaved by certain lineages of my people. Her work is profound. This concept of "being a good ancestor" shook my soul and stirred me from slumber around the type of ancestor I am being and will become. I know I can't heal the totality of cultural wounding, or be a total #plasticfreemermaid all in this very instant, but I can acknowledge that my ancestors are more than just my great grannies; that they are also the dead, the ones I hurt consciously or unconsciously through unmetabolized racism, the turtles, oceans 🌀 and bees 🐝 and perhaps this awareness will at least help me buy a reusable fork, throw away a little less plastic, and do my part to end colonizing ways of being for the earth AND for the ones YET to come. One small step for NON-(WO)MANKIND and the seven generations to follow. Helping give to voice the voiceless, to the 'other kind' that doesn't even live on land...🐢 but tends to the sacred reefs and the oxygen making oceanic waters, the lifeblood of this world. 🌊

Without the ocean, and the animals in it, we would not be able to breathe the air, because the ocean keeps it in check for the whole PLANET to be able to breathe! So as you scurry around at the mall or on Amazon just remember that Mary gave beautiful/gross human birth from a salty ocean like womb to a divine flesh human incarnate and the ocean needs you to use less plastic, and baby Jesus needs you to stop being an asshole to whoever you're being one too, so wrap your gifts consciously and REMEMBER the reason for the season!

It's LOVE! ❣️ Which doesn't always appear as light.


The book of John does not state the virgin birth. It is actually my favorite book. Not because of that reason, but that reason is definitely on the list of why I like this book the best. It's different. It speaks on the Word. In the beginning was the Word, and the word was made flesh. No astrology of the stars or stable story here. The most famous quote from the book of John is verse 3:16. 'For God so LOVED the world'.... is how it starts. 'That He gave His only Son, so none will perish but have eternal life', it says. Now, with this part I want to just toss a wave in there and make that this can be gender neutral and all inclusive; Creation LOVED YOU SO MUCH, that IT gave birth to the THE LIGHT so YOU could SEE CLEARLY and BE SAVED FROM YOURSELF! So you don't have to repeat all of this karmic loopdie loop patterning. To literally not suffer, and simply shine.

Is it possible? ⁉️

I feel it is and avatars have walked this earth before us, but it takes true alchemy. Not the shiny object on the outside free webinar kind, but the kind behind the scenes where tears fill your whole mouth and snot runs down your face. Not just the tantric priestess in Bali retreat alchemy but the kind where there is no sex, no sacrament or even stimulation but the inner place of peace and rest where nothing/everything is allowed to exist and be as it is. Yeshua aka Jesus, was a true alchemist, so was his Mother Mary and his Companion Mary Magdalene and all of the buddhas that helped him along The Way. This is why we honor him this time of year and if you are educated in this particular fractal of spirituality, and/also a person of faith then maybe you understand the deeper secrets of these Christed teachings of The Way, The Word and The Wonder. ❄️

Call me old school, but all ya'll out there who know how to use your mind and also your heart at the same time, yes you.... you know that this whole Holy Days season goes WAY beyond "Christianty", right? Like, way far back. The First recorded documentations through pictures and shapes point to a fertile mother. SHE IS THE STAR OF THE SHOW, if you smell what I'm cookin'. 🍳 Ever heard of Constantine and The Council of Nicea? Look that sh*t up. Especially if you feel any discomfort reading this. I strongly encourage you to educate yourself on *how Christianity was created*.

➡️ Shameless Plug Sidenote: I'm offering a fb LIVE series coming up that is just some real talk; me interviewing my Dad over the holy day break. I'm going home to Orangeburg and will air the sessions between Monday and Thursday mornings. Join us, have some tea or coffee and tune in here to my page to listen to my "former Baptist preacher guitar building prodigy very talkative but chill plus really well educated father" school us all on some very interesting topics. I promise to ask him provoking questions and will also take as many Q and A's as possible. My dad knows some deep theology and also has inquired deeply with his open heart over the years, and has some powerful gnosis to drop on us. I want this to be shared with my relatively "New Age Type Medicine People Transformational Festival Junkie Societally Fringed Fae Folk" network. So, if you have a desire to dig underneath the consumer based Jesus/Santa facade and into a real place of alchemical and unexplainable but very real unconditional love, tune in with us! FB and chill with me and my dad David White over the 'christmas break', to talk story on the origins of Christmas, Solstice and beyond, this coming week beginning Monday the 24th through Thursday the 27th. 🎵☕️🌲🎸

Ok, all shameless plugs aside, back to the point. 👇🏼

The Christian Religion was created by a roman emperor on purpose to synchronize with the pagan Holy Days so that slowly but surely the ancient ways would be eradicated and dissolved, disguised as children's stories and catchy songs. 🦋 Think of it this way instead, remember how East and West see things from opposite sides, because they are two different directions? Well, they all agree on one thing and that's baby Jesus. Those Three Wisemen traveled a super duper long way from the East to meet this little dude and either they got super early notice as if maybe they had an angel messenger too... if they got there when homie was born from a billion miles away by foot and camel, and they definitely didn't fly Southwest . PLUS, the point is that they followed a star (we are back to the fun virgin/venusian birth version obviously) and they brought really epic presents to this holy baby boy. Trust the witch in me, yes the 'herbalistmidwifenaturalone' who knows through experience and research that frankincense, myrrh, and gold are all three extremely healing and potent substances that are still very valuable today for health and spiritual wellbeing. Follow those Wise Men's and the Wise Herbal Woman's ways, for the ancients knew, and I don't think they would bring baby Jesus anything from Wally World. #brerakfreefromplastic.

🔥 So here we are fam, it's the Return of The Light! The light is within, not just in some story or song of silent Christmas night. Yes, a MARY Christmas to you as HER birth pangs are REAL; let us not forget her voice. And in all of the suffering to come, leave space to rejoice. Would Mary have still been able to give birth knowing what she would witness approximately 33 years later? Knowing that from a dead tree her dead son would also be hung? Like the mothers of Ramon and Jarren (yes, lynchings happened in 2018), even the Divine Mother herself knows the suffering they share in. Young men are murdered still for the color of skin, and this is the world we are living in. The Mother of Jesus watcher her Son die too, and that is just one example of what humanity can do. It's up to us to educate each other and change, especially if you believe in His or Her name. Whoever you pray to or if you don't pray at all, it's time to help humanity brace it's own fall. We are all going down to the bottom of this bottle, but then baby believe be it's up and out at FULL throttle. For each baby being born and each day the sun rises, it us up to use to release our disguises and FULLY arrive JUST as WE ARE ready to SHINE because this RETURN OF THE LIGHT is truly Divine! ✨🌈✨

Guess what?! TAG, you're IT! Did you know that you are REALLY the star of this bit? This part's about YOU even though you thought it was presents,🎀 or little baby Jesus but it's really about PRESENCE....

Like I said before...


YOU ARE the LIGHT, a descendant from The One above.

You are God's child too! Not just JC. ✝️🔯

We are ALL the inheritors of our own SOVEREIGNTY.

🖌 Thanks for reading this mix of poetry and prose as I take a moment to receive this rose. The fragrant immense eminence of my own sweet nectar, sinking deeper into myself, letting go of the hectic. It's not under wrapping paper or even this skin, it's held in a container that you can't buy or win. It's not between the sheets or after the final, or in that cold beer or even that sweet vintage vinyl. I love art but even beauty can be distracting, when silence is really pivotal to the questions your asking. Sometimes you have to BE STILL, STOP and LISTEN. The answer is in each infinitesimal snow flake as it falls and glistens. Each tiny one just melts on your tongue but put them together and a blizzard can come. I'll wrap it up with this, like a present for only you. You are the gift. Yep. It's true. 💝

I love each of you very much.

If you have felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel this 2018 you were not alone and now we are fully in the birth canal and at the end of that tunnel is an age old story, featuring YOU and YOUR creation and WHAT YOU ARE, in fact, also birthing. She does give birth, that Mother Divine and You are born, once again. And will be born again and again, until the cycle ends. Each round of the Wheel has it's own wisdom to share to simply treat most everyone you meet with kindness and care. This is the true Christmas spirit and I encourage you to give the gift of your time, presence and patience this season as well all pop out of this portal together, in True Union ~ The True Essence of Christ Light, Love and Forgiveness 🖤

May your final days of this calendar year be healing, inspirational, fulfilled and spent giving to yourself and others. May it also be slow and steeped in the watery womb of a creative portal. We need each other now more than ever. Take time to yourself and then give out what you've got, then go back in to do it all again! Sending you a *big hug* and lots of mermaid vibes from the sunny shores of the Atlantic ⚓️

I pray the peace of Father Sun, Divine Earth Mother, and Holy Child Within each of us fully arrives and anchors this simple and self-aware love this Soulstice, and that ripples sweetly into the farthest corners of this multi-verse of cosmic creation and BEYOND! Be Well, Be*Loveds. 💋

- In the Spirit of This Holy Season -
✨Shellie Marie White Light✨

be the light of the world.

be the light of the world.

November Themes: Roots, Resistance & The Morning Star 🌟


Do you know your roots?

Do you really know where you come from and the heirloom seeds from which you were grown? This time of year is a time for reflection and prayers for our Ancestors, the ones who gave us these roots to stand on. The ones who came before us, the ones who lived and died in our lineage, ultimately paving the way for us to BE HERE NOW. Some say the “veil” between worlds is thinnest at this time around the Samhain, Halloween, All Saint Day, Dia de los Muertos, All Souls Day portal, if you will. Yet in my meditation and observation I feel no veil. Perhaps the veil has been lifted, and we are now in a time where all worlds collide and every single choice and second really counts. Each moment is an opportunity to connect with these roots, honor these souls, honor our OWN soul, all the way back to our point of origin. Like a bride before her groom, the veil has been lifted, and now we see the TRUTH.

Roots & Resistance

What TRUTH is present for you? I’ll be honest, because that is what I do here. I am dealing with some deep levels of RESISTANCE. What is resistance, actually? The latin origin of this word is ‘resistere’, which means to “hold back”. I have been re-reading an amazing book called ‘The War of Art’ by Stephan Pressfeild. He talks about resistance in major detail and really gives some epic advice on how to work through resistance, or just bitch slap it, and finally get into CREATION MODE. He also says this, “Resistance is infallible. Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, resistance will unfailingly point to True North - meaning the call or action it most wants us to stop us from doing…Rule of thumb: the more important a call or action is to our souls evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.” BOOM. I have MAJOR resistance to really writing. I mean REALLY writing. These little blogs are great and they help me get into a flow of writing but what about the BOOOOOK? It MUST be my souls greatest calling because I have been resisting writing books since I was old enough to realized I wanted to write on which was about 6 years old. That is 28 years of resistance. Holy sh*t.

What does this have to do with roots? Let’s look at resistance from nature’s perspective. Take a seed for example. A tiny little bitty seed. This seed looks NOTHING like what it will be on the other side of it’s incredible transformation. This tiny seed could be eaten by a bird. It could get washed away from the dirt and discarded. Anything could happen to this tiny seed. When it finds itself nestled in the fertile soil, which is a blessing in itself, it begins to take in the nutrients and eventually will burst open and begin to ROOT. This could be a very scary process if YOU think about it, but the seed does not think, it just goes on instinct and its genetic program. In our minds we might feel resistant to actually cracking open our container to become something totally new. But this is what it looks like to root down from a simple seed.

You know what I think keep the seed from any fright? ✨THE LIGHT.✨ Innately, the seed does not fear the dark nor the creepy crawlies within the soil nor the total destruction of it’s current form as seed because in its very make up it knows what comes next. It knows those roots will keep digging deeper and it also knows that it will burst up through the soil as the light beckons it upward and outward. From here, because this now plant, has a strong tap root it can grow upward towards the light and form a trunk, branches, leaves, blossoms and FRUITS (which carry many seeds inside, beginning the cycle again). Yet, if that seed has resisted, never broken out of its shell, trusting its codes and traditions, we would have no forests, no food and no beautiful autumn leaves or apples. If you let your resistance win, are you denying this world an entire bounty of fruitful nourishment from your very soul to ours? Does allowing resistance to control you equal a kind of death that is not of the body, but of the soul? Resistance, according to Pressfield, is equally the oppressor AND the greatest teacher. We simply must choose to root, to sink into the roots prepared for us and let them nourish us; we must choose the truth that resistance is in fact real, yet guiding us to our most powerful soul calling.

Venus & The Underworld Myth - Threading it All Together

We have been tracking Venus throughout this time in her retrograde portion of her synodic cycle. On Oct 24th she stationed direct with the Sun, her twin flame, her Masculine Pillar, and began her ascent back up through Scorpio and is now in Libra again (don’t worry, she goes BACK into Scorpio soon here until Jan 6th). Much like the seed, Venus was beneath the horizon, and the Sun beckoned her back to the light, after honoring a much needed moment of “death”/rest. She ended her current cycle when she set after being the evening star for 9 months, and she still is low below the horizon. The New Venusian cycle has begun, she is low low low on the horizon, but there; gradually getting brighter, Venus will rise as the Morning Star where she will stay for nine months before becoming the Evening Star for nine months and then disappear again to renew once more. The Sun calls her home every time. Just like the Sun calls home each little seed.

Previously, in my writings and personal mythos, I was comparing this Venusian cycle to the ancient Sumerian story of Inanna and her intriguing journey into the underworld, which is how these stories may have been written (being inspired by celestial observations), After doing more research on Inanna and this story, I realize I don’t really vibe with her values and actions after this whole story is complete. In fact, I realize that perhaps these ancient stories are part of an old covenant, keeping us stuck in some old patterns and ideals. Babylon fell, and is compared to our modern day society, so why perpetuate the Babylonian themes? Just a thought (not truth), and my thoughts change often. For whatever reason, I am no longer inspired to share about Inanna. She lived through the whole thing, taught us a bunch about how to die to our darkness, and was reborn but for a PRICE. She had to trade her husbands life for her own to be returned. This is, to me, where the story gets sticky. So, perhaps more on that at a later time, but for now I redirect my attention to The One who has my heart.

There has been One there for me this whole time, One who reminds me that even with all of these heavenly bodies moving about and pushing and pulling on our strings, to remember The Light within, especially deep down in the darkness. To not be a puppet to the outer spheres but to inhabit our own sphere of light so deeply that Heaven is embodied here, on Earth. So, as I rise up I remember the One who taught me of Resurrection. I remember Yeshua. In the depths of this darkness, as I faced myself as the dark sister, as I writhed and wriggled in the blindness, I felt His hand, His wing. The Son, calling His Bride home. I choose to end this story of suffering, for there was Yeshua who came to bring a New Covenant, one where the suffering and “sin” (missing our mark) of humanity is overcome. Venus is like the Feminine Sun. Her life, her death, rebirth and all a reflection of and in accordance with her rotation around the Sun. Through all of this amazing story, allegory, myth and legend. I remember my Ancestor Yeshua, my Ancestor Mary Magdalene, and My Point of Origin. MY ROOT. The stories all connect, and I choose to align with what feels like a soul lineage between these two Beloveds.

Divine Rescue & The Collective Dark Night of The Soul

Much like the seed may feel it is dying before it sprouts up to see the light, there is a moment of darkness for humanity at this time, as we are cracking open to a new way of being with ourselves and each other. Just like Venus low the horizon, just about to rise up. When Venus was stationed almost perfectly still at one point in retrograde, it was within the 10th and 11th degree of Scorpio. The two Sabian symbols for this are so interesting to me. The 10th degree is about Breaking Bread and sharing a meal, to me, representing the Last Supper before the death of Yeshua. A time to gather in joy and communion, share a meal even though times may be tough. This is not just a sabian symbol in the cosmos but truly a tradition of this soul lineage that I value and deeply respect. Communion. Breaking Bread. Making Peace. Taking a meal as ceremony with another. God is there, beneath it all, in every single bite and each molecule in our site and beyond.

The 11th degree is A Drowning Man Being Rescued. This is fascinating and why I chose the photo I did for this post. When we are beneath the surface, what will we grab for in an attempt to be rescued from what feels like drowning? Can we draw from our roots and pull ourselves up? Perhaps, but for me, it has been constant prayer and continually taking the hand of My Creator. Calling Yeshua into the garden with me, to take my hand and walk by my side so I do not slip back into the ravine. The thing about Yeshua and being rescued is this: I am not praying to be saved, it’s not like that. I know that “Jesus Saves” but what that really means to me is “Am I willing to let go of my life so I can have open hands to receive Divine Assistance?” I am not “begging” for a savior, no. It is a humble prayer with open hands and an open heart, this is how we are “saved” or “rescued”, we are the ones who must release, ask and RECEIVE the help. So, take responsibility. Help is at hand, if you can be ready and accept it. The love of Christ is always there, we are all in His heart, Her heart.

The collective dark night is now turning to dawn. I know you have been through it. So have I. I’m still in it, we all are “in it'“ with something to a certain degree. Working through the resistance, discovering roots, honoring origin, and coming out on the other side a little roughed up but shining bright like the Morning Star. As we enter November, and enter this dark season, just know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel and it is shining on you. Look to the horizon and find Venus shining beside her Beloved, The Sun. Make sure to wake up early enough to take time for yourself, a catch a site of this succulent star light. Go to bed early enough and be rested for these times ahead. We are not out of the forest yet, but at least we have our Morning Star, our Feminine Sun to give us a glimmer of hope and glory in these times of great change and indeed, the Feminine Rising. This light is your light. Even way deep down, those roots receive light too, that they have taken in from the stalks and branches. So let your eyes receive the light and let it run down deep into your roots and nourish your ancestors, too. It was because of them, and these cherished seeds planted that you are even here. I hope this portal of the Underworld has served you well.

Welcome back home, to you, to truth, to roots. 🌱

In Wild Love,

Shellie Marie


Interested in diving deep into issues under the surface? Ready to make some lasting changes?

To Work with Me 1:1 Email Me @ shelliemariewhite@gmail.com

Yeshua. Take His Hand. Walk on the water.  <3    Artist Unknown.

Yeshua. Take His Hand. Walk on the water. <3

Artist Unknown.